Dear Dave,
I’m currently on Baby Step 2 of your plan and will probably be debt free, apart from my house, in six months. Recently I actually have had a problem with my sister who has a very good job but continuously makes bad decisions regarding money. Over the last six months she has also asked me and others in our family to borrow money several times, including again yesterday. I do not mean to be mean, but this whole thing has gotten uncontrolled. How do you think that I should approach her about this?
James
Dear James,
Dealing with issues like this may be complicated, especially when family or friends are involved. But truthfully, I believe it’s best to just tell your sister the reality. Just do it. Let her know that you simply’re attempting to get out of debt and alter the way in which you handle your funds so that you haven’t got more money lying around. Also, explain to her that a part of that’s that you simply’re not messing around with debt anymore and meaning you are not going to lend or borrow any extra money.
Be sure to do that in a sort way, James. Most people in your sister’s situation already know deep down that they’re making poor selections, so it is vital that you simply speak to her gently and sensitively. Try to get her to speak about what’s really happening together with her money. You could even tell her that in the event you had any spare – and also you knew she was on top of things financially – you would possibly give her some money. But you are probably not helping someone who’s financially incompetent or simply plain immature by giving them money and even lending them money.
You aren’t helping anyone by participating of their misbehavior. So in situations like this, you’ve to have a look at the larger picture. Not only is your sister in a difficult situation, with a number of unexpected expenses or a job loss, but at once, her handling of cash shouldn’t be only a hindrance, it’s a lifestyle.
Sometimes you’ve to like someone enough to sit down down with them and tell them the reality. Even in the event that they’re members of the family, that can even mean saying no and telling them it is time to mend their ways and begin behaving properly.
—Dave
