If “failures are signposts on the road to success,” as CS Lewis said, then I actually have many opportunities to succeed. In fact, the one reason I actually have the chance to share these insights with you today is because I failed at giving someone financial advice.
Although this person was very real, he was a mythical fusion of Michael Scott, Steve Carell’s legendary manager figure from The officeand Alec Baldwin’s motivational speaker “from the home office” in Glengarry Glen RossHe would almost actually deny the primary parallel, but be happy with the latter.
Fill within the gap
He was the regional manager of a big life insurance company, and I used to be one among the brand new twenty-somethings he was speculated to mold. I had already been rejected as an worker of the “bullpen” department of the biggest brokerage firm on the town because, despite several years of skilled experience and all of the vital industry licenses, I didn’t Sales Experience or a natural network of monetary relationships. I’d learn to sell now – or at the least I could be taught.
In this course, I used to be first taught to purchase a automotive I could not afford in an effort to each create the looks of unearned wealth and overcome an excessive financial hurdle – an excessive monthly automotive payment – and motivate myself to sell.
I used to be taught to maintain my hair short, shave my face, shine my shoes, and adorn my neck with a conservative power tie to match my (only) navy pinstripe suit. Plain white Oxford shirts were expected to be starched and worn every single day of the week except Wednesdays, when light blue or light pink shirts were permitted.
I used to be taught to take care of this façade all over the place and in every interaction—yes, even on the food market and the gym, where we were also instructed to wear suits when entering and exiting. I used to be taught which restaurant I’d most prefer to take a prospective customer to if I could persuade someone to eat with money. I used to be taught to reach on the restaurant early enough to create a feigned familiarity with the top waiter. And The waiter even served him a fake drink, “the usual,” which was anything but.
Regardless of my actual identity, I used to be taught to play a job.
And the role play didn’t end there. We were taught act as a holistic financial advisor, also for use comprehensive financial planning to sell a product – on this case, a money value life insurance policy underwritten by the corporate we worked for.
What have I learned from all the pieces I actually have been taught?
I learned that keeping your shoes clean was worthwhile – and that I simply couldn’t play a job that was up to now faraway from my identity.
As funny as this story could seem looking back, it ushered in a crucial but difficult period in my profession. While I can clearly see the dilemma (and the answer) now, the technique of balancing my identity and my role as a financial advisor took years—and 20 years later, I’m sure there’s still quite a lot of work ahead of me.
In fact, I only learned about I/R or Identity/Role Theory this yr, perhaps mockingly from Mark McGraw, a Sandler consultant specializing in sales and leadership. Here’s a fast summary:
- Our Identity (I) is who we actually are. Although that is formed over the course of our lives, it also includes our core values, beliefs and self-image.
- Our Role (R) is our behavior in a specific situation, which might change depending on the environment or circumstances.
- The theory is that we feel comfortable and act authentically when our I and our R are in harmony – and that we feel stressed and should not act authentically when our I and our R are in conflict.
Personally, I imagine that we cannot do our greatest work or be our greatest selves if our identity and role aren’t aligned. Or perhaps more accurately, we may be our greatest – personally, professionally and financially – if our identity and role are aligned. And because our identity is so deeply rooted, if we’re out of alignment, our role will likely should be adjusted.
I’ve given you an in depth example of I/R alignment in relation to my job and I’m wondering what it looks like for you. How well is your job role aligned along with your personal identity?
While we’re tempted to assume that the important thing indicator here is whether or not you are “successful,” I imagine the important thing indicator is whether or not you are feeling complete and fulfilled in your work. I’ve known too many successful individuals who hated their jobs to imagine otherwise.
And what about funds? Much like my cartoon sales manager, lots of the financial recipes offered – especially by financial “gurus” – are heavily focused on her Identities. But how about your?
Is your financial statement an expression of who You Or is it designed within the image of your financial advisor or financial guru of the day?
A key indicator May whether you could have successfully followed the recommendations. But an excellent higher sign is whether or not your financial planning actually reflects your personal values and goals. Are your fingerprints throughout your plan – or another person’s?
