Dear Dave,
I’ve made lots of silly mistakes prior to now in relation to money. Even though I finally paid off six figures in debt a number of years ago and have my funds under control for the primary time in my life, I find it hard to forgive myself for all of the silly things I’ve done. I’ve put aside an emergency fund and other savings and am almost able to buy a house. But it looks as if there’s still a dark cloud hanging over my head due to all my bad decisions. How can I stop worrying about my past financial mistakes?
Brea
Dear Brea,
If you have been determined enough over the previous few years to repay six figures in debt and construct savings on top of that, you are doing an exceptional job! Most people would just make excuses or surrender, but you educated yourself, put your head down, and paid off all that debt. I’m very happy with you, darling. What you have done speaks volumes about your character and self-discipline.
The late Maya Angelou once said, “Do your best until you know better. And when you know better, do better.” I feel that is the important thing for you. Doing silly things doesn’t at all times mean you are silly. Sometimes we just haven’t got the knowledge or the guidance we’d like to do things right. But once you have learned a number of things and seen that there is a higher way—a wiser way—you have gone with it and made incredible things occur. You’ve got your funds so as and adjusted your entire future for the higher. I feel that is pretty cool. And you already know what else? It makes you a fairly smart woman.
I feel a part of your problem stands out as the proven fact that you have spent more time making the fallacious decisions about money than the fitting ones. That’s comprehensible. But time will help heal this problem. It will distance you emotionally from the old you until you may have confidence in the brand new you – not only in your actions, but in your heart and mind. Think about it this manner: If you betrayed a friend’s trust, how would you rebuild it? First, it might take time. And second, it might require a series of trusting actions.
Let’s say someone has a long-standing drinking problem but has been sober for 3 months. After three months, his spouse should not trust him with the checkbook. I can totally understand that. That’s start, but it surely’s not like he hasn’t had a drink in three years. That’s where time is available in. The longer he shows a solid pattern of not reaching for the bottle, the more evidence he provides of why others should trust him.
I feel you have built up a fairly good track record of being smart together with your money, Brea, so do not be so hard on yourself. If God forgives us for the really bad things we are saying and do, you need to have the option to indicate yourself slightly grace for the silly things in your financial past.
— Dave
