What was a very powerful lesson you learned about money as an adult?
Understanding how your identity plays an enormous role in your funds. Finances are deeply personal and intersectional, and your money is directly impacted by points of your identity like privilege, race, gender, sexual orientation, mental health, disability, systems of oppression, and more. The identities you hold affect the way you view, understand, spend, and manage your money.
I didn’t really understand this until I got here out as queer and was diagnosed with ADHD. These realizations helped me understand a lot of my behaviors and issues with money. For example, I struggled with impulse buying for years and ended up with $15,000 in high-interest debt due to it. I used to be so ashamed of that debt, but I didn’t know that due to ADHD, I used to be 4 times more prone to make impulse purchases than someone without ADHD. By understanding who you’re, the privileges you might have and/or barriers you might have to beat, your life experiences and trauma, you may begin to alter your relationship with money and create a financial statement that is sensible to your life.
That lesson inspired me to put in writing a book and begin my very own financial literacy company, Queerd Co. Our approach to financial literacy goes beyond the standard and empowers people to be full human beings—not only numbers on a spreadsheet. At Queerd Co., our goal is financial equity, and each course we create, every resource we recommend, every space we offer, and each discussion we now have goals to pursue a shame-free and identity-based approach to money.
What is one of the best money tip you might have ever received?
That your financial situation isn’t your fault and that the shame you are feeling around money isn’t just your shame. This is something I learned from the Trauma of Money certification program, where we explored the concept of ​​shame and responsibility around our money. The reality is that a lot of us inherit money trauma and learn our financial behaviors and habits from our significant others. We also need to think about government policies, financial institutions, and bigger societal systems like capitalism and the way these play a job in the choices we make and the financial challenges we face. In the Trauma of Money program, we were taught to ask ourselves, “Whose shame is this?” to bring awareness that among the shame we feel is on us, despite the fact that it isn’t our shame. This advice really helped me reframe my feelings about my past financial decisions.
What is the worst money advice you might have ever received?
I tell this story in Chapter 1 of my book, which is about finding protected spaces: The first time I spoke to a financial advisor on the bank, the advisor made a misogynistic comment along the lines of, “If you have a husband, he’ll take care of this for you.” That was his response after I tried to ask questions on some financial terms he’d briefly mentioned. That was terrible advice because: a) it was misogynistic; and b) it encouraged me not to manage my very own financial situation. I can not stress enough how essential it’s to be financially independent, even inside a wedding. If you ever end up in an abusive relationship, getting access to your individual money gives you the liberty to depart.
Would you slightly receive a big sum of cash unexpectedly or a smaller amount usually throughout your life?
It depends upon the quantity. If the smaller amount was enough to cover my monthly expenses, I might select that option because I might then have the nice privilege of never having to fret about paying my bills again. It would also take plenty of pressure off my business and permit me to pursue more creative pursuits. However, if the quantity was not enough to pay my bills, I would favor the lump sum. In fact, I could make more cash in the long term with the lump sum if I invested it, but emotionally the primary example can be the higher decision.
Which financial tip do you’re thinking that is most underrated?
Make your funds a game. This is sweet advice for nearly anyone, but especially for individuals with neurodivergent symptoms. If you may make managing your money fun and enjoyable, you are more prone to actually stick to it and achieve your goals more successfully.
What is the most important misconception people have about earning money?
That being “good with money” and constructing wealth is only a math game and all you might have to do is manipulate the numbers – it is so far more than that. Creating the right spreadsheet, debt payoff plan or investment strategy won’t ever solve the basis of your money problems. We’ve been taught that if we follow the formulaic system for achievement, we’ll be wealthy and pleased. But there is not any magic formula for achievement because everyone has different life experiences, values, goals and definitions of wealth.
