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A couple of years ago, I used to be involved in an expert conflict that consumed all of my energy, focus, and time. I worked with a colleague who I had known for years. It was a vital project for me and a part of it became a degree of contention between us. I firmly believed that my approach was the proper one and was determined to see it through. My colleague disagreed and said her approach was more robust than mine.
The more I pushed, the more resistance I encountered. Our meetings became more tense, the emails we exchanged looked as if it would change into more acrimonious, and the project’s progress slowed to a crawl. It was now not just concerning the project; It felt like a private battle that I needed to win. I used to be convinced that if I didn’t fight for it, the complete project would fail and I’d wonder what could have happened.
However, because the weeks dragged on, I noticed that this battle was taking a heavy toll on each the project and me personally. My stress levels skyrocketed, my relationship with my colleague deteriorated, and the project we were so enthusiastic about became a source of tension. The breaking point got here after I confided (okay, complained) to a trusted friend who asked, “Is this fight worth it?” What are you trying to achieve here?”
This query hit me like a blow. I used to be so focused on winning the fight that I overlooked the larger picture. Ultimately, I needed to take a step back, reevaluate, and make the difficult decision to desert my stance for the nice of the project and my relationship with my colleague. It wasn’t easy, nevertheless it was the proper decision.
This experience taught me a vital lesson about leadership: Not every battle is price fighting. As leaders, we must learn to decide on our battles properly and know when to maneuver forward and when to let go.
Here’s how I approached this delicate balancing act.
1. Assess the impact on the massive picture
One of an important considerations when deciding whether to fight or hand over a fight is knowing the impact on the larger picture. Will winning this battle profit the project, team or company in the long term or is it more about personal pride?
Leaders who consistently concentrate on the massive picture fairly than getting lost in small details look like more prone to successfully overcome complex challenges. I actually have watched other leaders step down gracefully, even after I knew they believed they were right within the situation. It’s vital to stop and assess whether the battle you are fighting aligns with the general goals and vision of the project.
Related: 3 Signs Your Pride is Getting within the Way of Your Success
2. Evaluate the possible cost of the battle
Every struggle comes with a value – time, energy, relationships or resources. Before engaging in a conflict or disagreement, it is crucial to weigh these costs against the potential advantages. In my case, the value was the deterioration of a long-standing relationship with my colleague and the stagnation of project progress.
Research from the University of California (its various studies on conflict and leadership) has found that leaders who weigh the prices of conflict before engaging in a single are simpler at maintaining a cohesive team and driving long-term success. This implies that you need to consider the immediate consequences and the long-term consequences of a battle.
3. Determine what it’s really about
It’s easy to get caught up in the warmth of the moment and lose sight of what is really at stake. Is this battle over a critical issue that could have a big impact on the success of the project or company, or is it more about your ego and proving that your standpoint is correct?
In my experience, many unpleasant situations that appear vital now are driven by personal pride fairly than business necessity. By stripping away the emotional layers, you may concentrate on what matters. I actually have found that I’m more successful at conflict resolution and decision making after I concentrate on objective outcomes fairly than emotional satisfaction.
4. Recognize when to let go for the greater good
Sometimes the perfect decision a frontrunner could make is to let go. This does not imply giving up; It means recognizing that your energy and resources might be higher spent elsewhere. Letting go might be an incredibly difficult decision, especially in the event you’ve invested a variety of effort and time into a specific project, but it may even be essentially the most strategic move.
Ultimately, letting go allowed me to refocus on the larger goals of the project and rebuild the strained relationship. When you let go when mandatory, you’re more adaptable and higher equipped to guide – a key characteristic of successful leadership.
Related: Conflict is inevitable but mandatory. Here’s find out how to stay calm during an argument and rebuild afterward.
5. Learn from battle
Whether you are fighting a battle or letting it go, there’s all the time something to learn. It’s vital to reflect on the experience, understand what worked and what didn’t, and apply those learnings to future decisions. Every battle, whether won or lost, is a possibility for growth and learning.
An article from the Center for Creative Leadership stated that leaders who repeatedly reflect on their decisions and learn from their experiences are more resilient and effective of their roles. This reflective practice helps you make higher decisions in the longer term. It also lets you have a look at things in a different way – ensuring you are not just fighting battles, but selecting the proper ones.
As I look back on that difficult time after I clashed with my colleague, I realize that learning find out how to select my battles was a invaluable lesson in my leadership journey. It’s easy to wander off in the main points and fight for each inch while losing sight of the larger goals. However, authentic leadership is about making strategic decisions that profit the team and the project.
As leaders, we want to take a step back, clearly assess the situation, and choose when to maneuver forward and when to let go. This will not be about avoiding conflict or giving in; It’s about being smart and strategic and concentrating on what’s vital. By selecting our battles properly, we will lead more effectively, construct stronger relationships, and achieve greater success.
Ultimately, the battles we fight – and those we drop – define us as leaders. It is in these crucial moments that we display our true leadership abilities.